Medals for Seniors
Sheila Baslaw
While visiting my friend recently, her six-year-old granddaughter Tania, looked at my 91-year-old legs and proclaimed loudly, “You got marks all over your legs.”
I took a deep breath and said, “Yes, I do. They, are my medals.” Tania looked down at her perfect legs and said sadly. “I have no medals.”
I do not know why the idea of medals popped into my head, but when contemplating this interaction, I decided we seniors deserve medals for managing in today’s world. At a time in our lives when we find our physical strength, mental acuteness, memory, and overall energy often diminishing we are expected to keep up in this whirlwind constantly changing world. More recently we have had to learn to navigate everything in our lives, under the dark cloud of covid. And for those of us who are still living in our own homes there are the constant never ending maintenance challenges demanding our immediate attention. How to do it all with grace and calm?
These are some of the challenges I face and my attempts at earning my medals.
The challenge of keeping my house and myself presentable
Recently my son Lawrence said, “Mom when did you last have a cleaning lady?
I said, “You are looking at her”. I then turned to my daughter- in -law who is always the diplomat and asked, “Is it really that bad?”
She said, “Get a cleaning lady.” We seniors are used to wearing glasses for reading. But as we get older our vision is often compromised. Maybe we need to think about wearing our glasses all the time to optimize our vision. I had a disturbing recollection. A few weeks ago, I was at a posh event with a friend of mine who is eighty-eight and still practising law. I noticed that there were small old pieces of food on the front of her elegant dress. Had she known she would have been mortified. We need to examine our selves in large mirrors under very bright lights with our glasses on.
The everyday challenge of opening various containers.
I recently told a friend, “I will know it is time to give up living independently when I can no longer open a bottle of wine!” I have since hired a personal trainer, who comes once a month, and she has given me three new wrist and finger exercises which helps with stubborn door handles as well as pill, food, or bottle openings. Necklaces with tiny clasps are history.
The challenge of keeping culturally connected
Through the pandemic, we all experienced a cultural hiatus. The Jazz Festival was returning to Ottawa, and it was outdoors. I wanted to get a season’s ticket and attend every evening as my husband, and I did for more than thirty years. A widow for the past seven years who no longer drives at night, I wondered how I might participate and enjoy the festival? I bravely bought a full ticket and later arranged to meet with friends. although at times to my surprise I found I did not mind sitting by myself. I left the festival every evening at 8.45 before dark, satisfied to have taken in several shows starting at 6.30 and staying for only 2-3 numbers of the main event.
The challenge of ever-changing technology
At the parking lot, pay station after attending an evening at the Jazz Festival, I struggled, to find the slot to put my parking ticket in for payment as I have done in the past. It was dark I was trying to stay calm. I could not find the slot. I was holding up a line of cars. Thankfully the pleasant, patient attendant came and rescued me. The ticket had to be scanned, no more slot, and I could only pay the two-dollar fee by credit card. I had the two dollars but not my credit card. I asked the gentleman in the next car in lineup to pay the two dollars on his credit card and I would give him the money. He agreed. This digital world is constantly changing, and I am huffing and puffing to keep up.
The challenge of keeping socially connected
We are constantly reminded that meaningful social connections are of primary importance for our health and wellbeing. During covid strong, close relationships became even more vital. When I think back, I realize that regular scheduled meetings were my anchor. The sea of ever-changing information re covid, produced an ocean of fear and apprehension in all of us. I was fortunate, dear friends invited me to be in their bubble and to meet with them over dinner once a month. Three other friends and I decided to meet once a week just to socialize. Another friend introduced and helped me get started playing bridge online. I was delighted, and this was a great start at building new social activities during covid. I surprised myself when I boldly asked to join poetry and writing groups and I also reached out to people I barely knew to join me for walks. Covid emboldened me and to my surprise and no one refused my requests. I continued with my book club and a long-standing study group. Regular commitments provided structure and connections to my life in a time when the grey covid cloud hovered over all of us. My family members were in contact and arranged for us to play card games online. My 17-year-old granddaughter asked me to be in a book club, just the two of us. So far, she chooses the books.
I realize I am a very lucky woman. It is much easier to adapt and even flourish when you have family and friends support, and when your finances, mental and physical health are all in fair shape.
We seniors deserve medals for attempting to stay in the game and be part of the action despite the reality of our constantly changing abilities and the ever-changing world.